Watching movies is my favorite thing to do besides eat pizza and then watch a movie with the pizza by my side. I also review them, not the pizza, but the movies. Thankfully I’m not as picky about the movies as I am with the pizza or you’d never get a film review from me. That’s another thing, I’m don’t consider myself a critic just yet, that is for when I become truly recognized and professional in the art of critiquing a film through words or video. For now, I review movies with the intent on simply telling you if the film is worth your money or not because far too often, I was going to a film and wasting hours of my life for something I didn’t even like so I made sure to save you all from that pain I was feeling.
One of my favorite YouTube film critics is no doubt Jeremy Jahns along with other great YouTubers such as Chris Stuckmann and The Schmoes Know. It’s Jeremy’s story in particular that spoke to me, which is a pretty charming story really, relating to how he had to thank Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for truly kickstarting his career as a movie critic. Why? Because it was terrible! I kind of went a more complicated route. It all started around this time of the year about a year or two back when the Hobbit films were filling theaters and disappointing us with their unbearable CGI and storyline which Bilbo has an adequate quote for how I felt seeing the films when he said, “I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.”
I review films in a way that you yourself probably review films, only, I have such a nerdy cinefile obsession that I delve into the analytics and technical points that make a movie. That doesn’t make me better than you when it comes to reviewing or liking a film, but hopefully it explains why I’ve quickly begun to veer off of liking every single blockbuster or every single overthetop indie that burns you out after the first twenty minutes. I hope that films can either surprise me with something great I rarely see or just give me a compelling story that I can sink my teeth into whether their superheroes, gangster, comedies etc. I want films with stories that I’m able to go back and watch later on in life.
My writing style is hopefully conversational, but I’m working on homing into the art of writing less and saying more. It’s tough for me because I have a lot to say, but notice how I try to keep my essays, reviews, and news articles about four paragraphs long. I also make sure to never spoil films in my reviews. Another moment in life that made me realize I want to review movies was when I read an article from an undisclosed supposedly credible site, and they didn’t review the film, but instead just spoiled it for me with detail after detail. That f**king sucks. That’s literally the written equivalent of when you tape your football game and a person at the grocery store tells you the score. Don’t do that! Anyway, that’s how and why I review movies. I also just find it fun and therapeutic most times, but it sucks when you can’t see all the movies you want, but don’t worry, I’m working on that part.
Categories: FILM ESSAYS