This is an open letter of sorts to those who wear glasses over their glasses because they bought the wrong tickets for Star Wars and In the Heart of the Sea online. This is also for people who propably thought Spy Kids 3D was only behind The Godfather and The Dark Knight as best theater going experiences. Folks, I’m talking about 3D movies and why they are pointless, snake oil type scams that are somehow still existing in theaters around you.
At first, you think, “Oh this is insanely cool! What a crazy world we live in!”, but then you end up fading out of that excitement like the end credits of Casablanca only to figure out that 3D was/is a complete and utter waste of your time and money. I admit, (In Kanye’s voice) Avatar had the best 3D of all time. No question. But explain to me why we are seeing Liam Neeson movies in 3D when all the 3D in the freaking movie is one car exploding and a tire flies towards one half of the theater?
A film is not better putting on glasses you don’t even get to keep at the end. Movies are great because they have compelling stories and characters all wrapped in a gorgeously realized setting. Even with something like Avatar, the film was good with and without the dumb glasses so what is the point of shooting movies in 3D? Heck, you don’t hear people saying that The Force Awakens is only worth seeing in 3D! Why? Because that’d be dumb as hell.
I guess all I’m saying is this, we need to stop with this gimmick of cheap recycled Ray Bans in our theater system. A good movie is not dictated by the possible 3D scenes it possesses. I will never forget when I saw Captain America: The First Avenger in the theaters for the first time and there’s a scene where he throws his shield at the screen and the audience started to mumble at the fact that we all knew that was meant for the people who used the Milk Duds money on glasses for that one part. Just remember folks, Milk Duds are delicious, and they enhance the movie going experience more than some ridiculous 3D B.S.